“AIN’T ALL THERE”  PUMPKIN CANNON STORY

By  Jim Bristoe

I’ve been asked a lot of questions about my pumpkin shooter so to sum it up, I’ll just tell you the story behind what possessed me to build such a contraption.  

            It started several years ago when I built my first potato gun  which was powered by hair spray.  When I saw the first one, I was so infatuated with it that  the desire was so strong to build one myself, knowing  it could be improved.  So I made one.   It turned out to be powerful enough to hunt small game with it.   However, due to a few unruly people, the law deemed it illegal because you had to have a firearms manufacturing license to build a gun with an explosive propellant.   So, back to the drawing board!  On a job site I found and was given my first 1 ½   pneumatic valve.  I was so thrilled, I left it on the dash of my truck about three months dreaming of how to best use it on a new 100% legal spud gun.  The day came when I could bear it no longer.   It took me a whole Saturday to construct the gun.   I finally reached the point of my first test fire without a potato.  It blew the dust off the floor all the way across our forty foot basement.  I was like a kid at Christmas.   Of course my wife and boys came running down the stairs to see what had blown up and what kind of mischief Dad was up to now.   I was so excited, I yelled to Josh and Jeremiah to grab the bag of potatoes and meet me outside. What I had forgotten was that I had not constructed a ramrod for the invention.  Down to the garage I ran to grab the first thing that would shove a spud to the bottom of the barrel.  While all of this was going on, my wife was standing, her arms folded,  with that look of how much more of this kind of foolishness is possible. 

            Finally we launched the first spud.   The boys and I were astounded at how much further the potato went out of the new gun.  I think my wife was even impressed.  I didn’t hesitate,  the next shot was at the side of a brand new addition to my garage.  Just installed 5/8 in  cedar siding, 100 feet away, was no match for a potato traveling over 400mph.  Yes, it blew a hole through the wall!  Needless to say, I was dealing with big time mixed emotions.  The shot was so cool, but the garage addition had just been built and the siding was not even painted yet.  As you might guess, my wife just looked at me and said, “I have no idea what you were thinking.”   If I had a quarter for every time that was said to me, the pumpkin cannon could have been paid for.   Anyway, my excitement overruled  anything she was telling me and I believe the next words out of my mouth were, “I’ve got to build one large enough to launch a pumpkin over a mile. I know I can do it.”   Of course the next words Melonee spoke actually  named the big cannon.  “YOU AIN’T ALL THERE!” 

            After some major engineering sessions and gathering parts and materials, the construction was underway.   Of course any project which takes six months to build is naturally talked about on the job.  Ten or eleven different people said the same thing as Melonee, “You ain’t all there!”    It did not bother me because I was told that a lot in the past anyway.

            At the halfway point, I discovered there was actual competition for pumpkin cannons.   It made me feel good that I am not the only one who thinks blowing up things with vegetables is great.  

            Finally the day came when we were ready to test fire it.   The first target was a  ’78 Bonneville Pontiac.  Words cannot describe the amount of devastation a 10lb pumpkin can do at 900 mph to a full size car.  It was every bit as exciting as the first demolition derby  which I won.   At that point, even Melonee lightened up a little.  She will never admit it, but you could see it on her face.  She thought it was cool also.  

            The Herald Times, our local newspaper,  heard about the cannon and decided to do a story on it.  David Horn, the reporter and Chris Howell, the staff photographer, came out for an interview and to see a test firing.   They were both so impressed that they correctly predicted the story would hit the wire services by the weekend.  The next day a front page story appeared in the paper complete with pictures. The article was so great because the barrel of the gun was pointed toward a picture of Saddam Hussein in the next article.    This story appeared on Thursday, October 17, 2002 and the next day Channel Six  in Indianapolis called for an interview.   That story was on the evening news the same day.   From there it just snowballed.   Associated Press picked up the story and I started receiving calls from all over.   Canadian Radio called and did a live interview and BBC in London, England also did a couple of live interviews.   Calls also came from New England and Kansas City.    CNN and FOX News also carried the story.   

            I never dreamed one of my more bizarre projects would receive so much attention, but this just proves that maybe I am just more normal than my wife thinks I am.  Bless her heart, she still loves me.

If you have a little time on your hands and want to build a weapon of mashed destruction,  I’ll let you in on the parts which were used for the spud gun and the pumpkin cannon.     

SPUD GUN

PUMPKIN CANNON